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~Three's A Crowd~

By

Lariel

Disclaimer: This was written as a writing challenge put out by The Bardic Circle. "Write a short story where the character list includes a ladybug, a cockroach and a detective." Madness. Who on earth comes up with these??? <g>


"Darling, what if someone sees us?"

"Skitterbug, there's no-one else here who knows us. We're quite safe." He reached out a leg underneath the table and ran it up hers, sending sparks of sexual tension along their limbs. "Just relax."

"Darling, I can't relax," she sighed. "Antoine has found out about us, I'm sure he has. He keeps asking questions..."

"What kind of questions?" Paul poured wine into both glasses, careful not to spill any of the blood-red liquid onto the crisply starched white tablecloth. He placed the half empty bottle back onto its rest, and moved the candle aside so that its tiny flame cast a warm glow, highlighting his companion's vibrant red outfit. He smiled appreciatively.

"About where I've been, who I'm going to see." Rebecca took a small sip of the wine. "It's driving me crazy! I just don't know how much longer I can keep lying to him."

"You're not thinking of telling him, are you?" Paul's dark complexion grew wan. "I've told you before, he'll never understand. Not after his last partner..."

She shushed him abruptly as the waiter approached with their soup, and waited until the large bowls were placed before them before continuing. "He found the receipt from the restaurant last week, kept on and on about it; asking why I hadn't mentioned it, who I'd gone with. I told him it was a business meeting, but I just know he didn't believe me."

"What makes you think he still suspects? He doesn't...?" Paul paused, a spoonful of the pungent cabbage soup poised at his lips.

"No, he hasn't mentioned your name. But he keeps following me around. Every time there's a knock on the door, or the phone rings, he's there. I swear he's started listening in on the extension. He knows that something's going on."

"Nonsense, how could he? It's not as thought we go anywhere well known. We find the smallest, darkest little holes we can..."

"Yes, but it all feels so... sordid!"

He put his spoon down, and covered Rebecca's delicate hand with his own, larger one. He nuzzled her antennae, trying to soothe her. "Skitterbug, calm down. You're drawing attention to us."

"I'm sorry." She gulped, and tried to pull herself together. "I just feel like I'm being watched all the time."

"There's no-one here looking at us - nobody here cares. Just eat your soup."

She flashed him a small, watery smile and dug her spoon into her soup. And then screamed, and the spoon clattered back into the bowl with a splash.

"Oh my god, that's disgusting! There's a HUMAN in my soup!"

"What??" Paul seized the spoon and brought it before his many eyes. "Bloody hell - it's a detective!"

Sure enough, waist deep in green liquid swam a tiny little figure dressed in a brown overcoat and wearing a trilby hat. As both Paul and Rebecca hove into his view, he pulled out the most minuscule of instamatic cameras and started snapping their photographs.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed Rebecca. "I TOLD you I was being watched! Antoine has put a bloody private detective onto us!!"

Paul tipped the spoon upside down, leaned over the table and watched the little man as he landed on the floor in a soggy, cabbage flavoured heap.

There was a faint crunching, squelching sound.

"Humans. God, I hate those things. Dirty, disgusting creatures." Rebecca shuddered as Paul wiped his shoe clean. "Waiter, can I have another soup please?" She fluttered her delicate wings, and turned back to her handsome, hard-shelled lover.


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